so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
