just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
