the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
