My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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