I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wanna bring you to show and tell
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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