So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
