it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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