Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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