just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
