i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Welp...herpes.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think people are normalizing furries
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
