suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
