just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize