Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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