Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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