At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
