i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
