just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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