I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize