Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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