Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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