you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My vagina is very pro this idea
Please don't give away my fajitas
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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