I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
