why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
