please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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