He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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