Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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