Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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