Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
