Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
