if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
