you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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