he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
