i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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