I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My breasts were aching with rage.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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