he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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