Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
