okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He did a backflip because drugs
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
