I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
