ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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