Will you blow on my dice?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
