If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
