Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
