Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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