And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize