And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
