you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize