I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
