i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
