so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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