yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we're making bets on your personal life
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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