Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
