she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
