Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
