so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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