..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
