he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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