I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
