Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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