You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
