69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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