mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
honey bunches of taint.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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