Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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