Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
