So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
