we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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