i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
