They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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