Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
