how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I am mentally ready for anal.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize