I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I could make wine with my vomit
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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